Coming home.

I call myself a nomad. Since 2006, it has been rightly so. I have been constantly travelling between Doha, Kerala and Bangalore. I loved packing and leaving, either to Doha because I was tired of college or back to Bangalore,  because I was tired of  the desert.

My black Amberst trolley bag has been my constant companion in all these travels. It has been a pleasure to meet some interesting co-passengers. Roaming in Dubai airport alone is always a different experience. And so is exploring the book shops of the various airports. All the latest titles that you cannot seem to get hold of otherwise, you will surely find them in the airport bookshops. Observing people from different countries, from different walks of life and how they react to stress of a journey or flight delay or how they deal with their screaming kids has been my past time. Some airports like Dubai, Doha, Bangalore and Bahrain are impressive. Some like Sharjah, Calicut, Trivandrum, Muscat are mediocre.  

As much as I have enjoyed the nomadic adventures of the past 7 years, I wish for a change now. I wish to be in one place, call it my home, have my clothes, books and collections in one place instead of it being strewn over two countries. When I am in Doha, I get bored and want to get out. When I am in my hometown, I donot find any connection with it. Definition of home changes as we grow up. What was home will not be home. I wish to have a place in which I feel home. They say, home is people. Home is also constant. Home is comfort and security. Home is joy.  

Wandering new place and constantly travelling gives you a glimpse of different people and perspective, but tonight, I want conformity. I want to have that favourite pillow or the corner of my cupboard for my favourite collection of newspaper scraps, quotes, letters etc. I want to have a favourite hang-out, a shop I frequent, a menu of a restaurant memorized. I want to know the place, the people, the community. I want to be home.  

That is my wish, prayer, hope and dream for 2014. To have a place and a person whom I call home.  

Ya Allah. Give me strength to endure.  

(... and maybe, when I get that, I might write a blog post of how I want to shed off the cobwebs of daily life. Grass is greener on the other side, they say. C'est la vie! )

Beauty.

I just finished reading, Fawa'id,  A collection of Wise Sayings by Imam Ibn Al Qayyim Rahimahullah.  

The book is filled with wisdom after wisdom. Every sentence will make us ponder. After one reading of the book, I think I might have absorbed only 0.001 % of the wise thoughts in the book. I intend to read it again, InshaAllah.  

There is one sentence which took my breath away, caught me off-guard.  

"The beauty that is contained in the inner and the outer elements of this worldly life and the Hereafter, comes from the effect of His creation. What then, is the extend of the beauty of the Creator?"  

Subhana Allah. Subhana Allah.  

We are swayed by beauty. We are enthralled by the magnificent chromatic symphony of the sunrise. We are left speechless when we witness the lush green gardens with streams flowing by. The snow-filled landscapes or the heavenly downpour of rain makes us to stop for a moment, just to observe the aesthetic treat to our eyes. This is the beauty of this world. So how will the beauty of the Hereafter be?  

Indeed, if this is the beauty of the created and the creations, what will the beauty of The Creator be?

How I long to see the Beauty of My Lord. How I long to hear the word of 'Enter' !  

Ya Allah make us amongst your righteous slaves.
Ya Allah make us amongst the inhabitants of the Garden with nearness to You.

Eid Blessing !

This blog has always been a reflection of the extremes of my emotions - happiness or sadness !

...and , so I jot down here the exhilarating feeling of the past few days. No words can ever do justice to completely comprehend the depth of what I feel now, but then I shall try.

The past few days again teaches me : Every prayer gets answered at the most perfect of times, as and when, willed by Allah. Alhamdulilah.

I became an aunt to a beautiful baby girl born in the wee morning hours of the day of Eid al Adha. ( Dhul Hijjah 10 1433/ October 26th 2012). Alhamdulilah Ya Rabb.

Alhamdulilah, sister and baby are doing fine :-)

A blessing so tiny in her size yet has already captured all our hearts. A blessing for us to turn back to Him to say the word  of Shukr for His cloak of Rahma , always on our family. A blessing where we have already fully enveloped and embraced another new person into our family and our lives, as though she has always been a part of us, all this while. A blessing whom we have loved even before she was born.

For me, personally, a blessing to always remind myself, to never lose hope. No tears go unseen by the Almighty.

I know, I have made dua for this particular blessing in the early morning hours in Tahajjud, during the time I break my fast, in the nights of Ramadan, while I travel, while it rains, in the evening hours on a friday - every occasion where we have been promised our duas will get answered... & I know, every member of my family has done the same. Alhamdulilah, a million times , for our prayers being answered.

There comes a time in every family, when the kids have finished school, left for college or got married and a silence descends. A grandchild changes the entire dynamic of the family and brings in a whole lot of ''welcomed noise'' :-)

To my baby niece : I shall forever remind you how much of hope you brought to me at a time when I thought I shall have none anymore. I could sit all day gazing at your peaceful sleeping face.

May Allah bless you with the best in this world and the next.
May He make you, a coolness of your parent's eyes.
May He make you a blessed member of Our Ummah who helps in carrying forward the flag of our Deen
May He keep you protected,always - Ameen

...and, alhamdulilah, since you are blessed with your dad's good looks, I pray that you are blessed with your mom's intelligence ;) - Ameen        

( Ma sha Allah, Tabaraka Allah )


Sometimes, photographs can never really capture the entire moment. Words start failing. Yet, they are the moments truly lived.

..My pillars of LOVE!!

Every time I come back home from college,on holidays,the subtle differences I see.....

Mom gobbling up more & more tablets...

Dad finding it hard to lift the luggage....

& I realize....

& It breaks my HEART!!!

Rabbirham'huma Kama Rabbayani' Sa'eera!!

Its gud bye time n results time for me!What a combination!!

G'd bye ,home

2nd year results abt 2 come...........aaah!

Till next,
Fly High! :)

Yours lovingly,

Going thru my room at home n trying to clear up the junk of many yester years,I cam upon loads n loads of letters!Cleaning was stopped in between n rest of the time went in reading them!Boy,wasn't I glad!Thr were tonnes frm my granparents, frm back home in India,cozins,many frm my skool frens who have left the country,many I myself have written as replies but have never posted! :)

Grandparents...the ever epitome of love!How rightly it is said,........Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers. Being far away from them n visiting them only once a year ,for every summer, I did miss out the 'fun' most of the kids have,but they regularly send us letters enquiring about studies,health n advices n most of all ...their love n prayers,widout which we wouldn't have reached whr v r n for all the things yet to come!!I have treasured them n reading it again does bring a tear always!

From my cozins.innumerable uncles n aunts....I used to love the ones ezp frm lil cozins..jus learning to put all the words tog....thr was love n care written all over,widout them knowing!Now we r all in different walks of life,in different places n countries(at times not recognizing each others while once in a blue moon v meet up) n letters have obviously dwindled among us all!Though E-mail/MSN/Yahoo/Gtalk n other innumerable messengers n Orkut/Facebook have come up.....keeping in touch is a pretty rare phenomenon!

One of my closest frens while in primary skool relocated to a different continent while in 5 th grade n believe me v kept in touch for years thru letters!(yeah ,yeah ,yeah handwritten letters!)Frankly I dono whether I'll ever take the effort,now, to keep in touch wid any1 thru letters!Reading thru her letters,made me think about those times....The much awaited P.E class,Welcome Songs at Annual Day(in which v both h ad taken part!),Badminton games at our colony(she was an awesome badminton player ) n many more memories which time was slowly erasing from my system!(In one of dem I have written to her...plz dont send typed letters...plz write in ur own handwriting!Gosh!)Lost in touch wid her while I moved back to India for my college but a few months back ,caught her again on Facebook!so now its facebook posting!but thats nothing compared to those oldddd letters!

My Best Fren,Nins,shifted to India after 10th n after her first term in her new skool,she send me a letter regarding each n everything in her skool.....n guess how many pages it was?!?...116!!116 letter Pad Pages!Boy!My dad was bawled over wen he saw the 2 extremely thick envelopes at his mailbox! :D ....Readin it was the best part,It was like a calendar of events!Still read thru wenever I come home n get reminded of those lovely days!!(lemme take this chance to say a big THANKU....if ever u come across this blog or not..Thanku for everything,for being bestest of ma freinds,for being in touch though v have been in separate places for 5 yrs now,for lightening my spirits before those bloody exams,for being wid me thru all down times n for always ringing me up at the MOST APPROPRIATE of times!Not every1 ll have a best fren like u,dear...!)

n yet there were many letters,old family frens,sis' frens n the likes...........

I wonder,does any letter come to our mailbox now,besides the occasional courier or post or wedding invitation!

Orkut scraps,Facebook posts n many more social networking sites r the 'in' thing now....but do they really replace the letters,in one's own handwritings??Is it the same feeling?

Till Next,
Fly High! :)

Adios ,home!!

Well,it's goodbye time for me!I am leaving home today!! :(

Goodbyes !! I have always hated it! n frankly speaking,I never say a proper goodbye to the people close to me...I just cannot!

A few summers ago,while I was coming back from my grandparent's place, I dint say a proper bye n salaam to my grandma.Regret it to this day!coz I never got another chance to!

'Where we love is home-home that our feet may leave,but never our hearts!"-Oliver Wendell Holmes,Sr

How true!! :)

But another positive aspect about Goodbyes,they always mean a fresh start to a new beginning! :)Yeah ,I am looking forward to the second half of my second year!Since the externals are just another 5 to 6 months away,this would mean more of tooth carving,setting,cavity preparation n more of dental antics! :)

I am looking forward to being with my friends again!To start our daily routine of getting up at the last minute but still making it on time for the 8' O clock class,hunting for food since our mess has been off for the past 2 months n we just cannot find out another mess satisfying our 'mallu' tastebuds,trying to catch up on all the latest movies together,playing with wax to make occlusion rim(practical work again!)at 12 in the night n calling up each other to scream,"What the hell!?!I just cannot get this right!!To the person who made wax,alginate,plaster,impression compound n wht not!?!..Aaaaaaaaargh!!"

Lemme go catch up on my sleep!!Have got a long flight with a 5 hours transit in between!Wonder what I am gonna do then!Hope I have a talkative cum chatterbox co-passenger! :) I always wish for this.....n yeah my travels have always been exciting! :)

Till next,
Fly high!! :)