MCD - 14

(In my first year of college, I came across this poster with the poem titled ' Don't Quit'. All through my 5 years, it shuttled along with me, through 3 different hostel rooms. Cliche as it sounds, it used to help me in times of low)

Don't  Quit.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you are trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must,  but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about,
When he might had won, had he stuck it out ;

Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you can never tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far ;

So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit,
It's when things seem worse, that you must not quit.

- Author Unknown

1434--> 1435

At the beginning of last Muharram, I remember tweeting, '1434, be good to me.'

In 1434,

I have tried my level best in strengthening my relationship with Allah. (May Allah keep us firm on His Deen)

I visited the Holy Lands after a gap of around 16 years. Had continously made dua to bless me to visit.

I completed my dental licensing in Doha after a wait of around 8 months.

I got my first ever job. It was nothing like I expected it to be, still Alhamdulilah, an experience of it's own.

I finally, with all certainty closed off certain uncertainty.  Alhamdulilah.  Some times, we have to just make a strong decision, Allah helps us with the rest.

I completely cut off myself from certain 'friendships'.Dont know why I am writing this as an achievement, but for me , personally it is an achievement. I cannot keep myself away from certain people even though I know with all my heart it is a toxic friendship, thinking it will hurt them. Now, I have learnt, other's happiness should not be at the expense of one's own mental peace and contentment.

By towards the end of the year, slowly learning, from obstacles and failures, what I truly want for myself from life.

There is a continuous dua I have been making throughout. It isn't His destined time yet.

On this last day of Dhul Hijjah,  1434, I wish and pray for a year more in:

Earning His pleasure.
Opportunities to be closer to Him.
Sakina, Mawaddha and Rahma.
Personal contentment.
Professional success.
Opportunity to do Master's Program.
Righteous friends.
Protection from Hamm, Hazan , Ajaz and Khasl.
Read more, sleep less.
Live more and fully each day.

20- s

(Read this profound statement today about 20-something young adults. Related to it)

THE 20S ARE LIKE the stem cell of human development, the pluripotent moment when any of several outcomes is possible. Decisions and actions during this time have lasting ramifications.

The 20s are when most people accumulate almost all of their formal education; when most people meet their future spouses and the friends they will keep; when most people start on the careers that they will stay with for many years.

This is when adventures, experiments, travels, relationships are embarked on with an abandon that probably will not happen again.

( Read the whole article here :  http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1& )

Tick Tock - 2

“Believe that this way of living, this focus on the present, the daily, the tangible, this intense concentration not on the news headlines but on the flowers growing in your own garden, the children growing in your own home, this way of living has the potential to open up the heavens, to yield a glittering handful of diamonds where a second ago there was coal. This way of living and noticing and building and crafting can crack through the movie sets and soundtracks that keep us waiting for our own life stories to begin, and set us free to observe the lives we have been creating all along without ever realizing it.

I don’t want to wait anymore. I choose to believe that there is nothing more sacred or profound than this day. I choose to believe that there may be a thousand big moments embedded in this day, waiting to be discovered like tiny shards of gold. The big moments are the daily, tiny moments of courage and forgiveness and hope that we grab on to and extend to one another. That’s the drama of life, swirling all around us, and generally I don’t even see it, because I’m too busy waiting to become whatever it is I think I am about to become. The big moments are in every hour, every conversation, every meal, every meeting.

The Heisman Trophy winner knows this. He knows that his big moment was not when they gave him the trophy. It was the thousand times he went to practice instead of going back to bed. It was the miles run on rainy days, the healthy meals when a burger sounded like heaven. That big moment represented and rested on a foundation of moments that had come before it.

I believe that if we cultivate a true attention, a deep ability to see what has been there all along, we will find worlds within us and between us, dreams and stories and memories spilling over. The nuances and shades and secrets and intimations of love and friendship and marriage an parenting are action-packed and multicolored, if you know where to look.

Today is your big moment. Moments, really. The life you’ve been waiting for is happening all around you. The scene unfolding right outside your window is worth more than the most beautiful painting, and the crackers and peanut butter that you’re having for lunch on the coffee table are as profound, in their own way, as the Last Supper. This is it. This is life in all its glory, swirling and unfolding around us, disguised as pedantic, pedestrian non-events. But pull of the mask and you will find your life, waiting to be made, chosen, woven, crafted.

Your life, right now, today, is exploding with energy and power and detail and dimension, better than the best movie you have ever seen. You and your family and your friends and your house and your dinner table and your garage have all the makings of a life of epic proportions, a story for the ages. Because they all are. Every life is.

You have stories worth telling, memories worth remembering, dreams worth working toward, a body worth feeding, a soul worth tending, and beyond that, the God of the universe dwells within you, the true culmination of super and natural.
You are more than dust and bones.
You are spirit and power and image of God.
And you have been given Today.” 

― Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life

Read the first part here

Qualities of a husband !

On being a husband, Abdul Qadir Al-Jilani (a 12th Century Islamic Scholar) advises the following:




1. “He must relate to them (his wife & children) on the basis of morality and provide them with fair treatment to the best of his ability."


2. "If he ends up with wealth to spare, he must keep it for the sake of his dependents (wife & children), not for his own sake."


3. "He must not eat, unless they have already eaten."


4. "In relation to his dependents, he must be like a trusted agent and a servant, and like a slave with his master."


5. "He must set service to himself aside, and consider his dependents more important than himself."


6. "When it comes to eating, he must adjust his diet to suit their tastes and not oblige them to follow his own appetite.”

( and they tell women are oppressed in Islam!! :D )

- As tweeted by @Philo_Human

Tick,Tock....

"I have always, essentially, been waiting. Waiting to become something else, waiting to be that person I always thought I was on the verge of becoming, waiting for that life I thought I would have. In my head, I was always one step away. In high school, I was biding my time until I could become the college version of myself, the one my mind could see so clearly. In college, the post-college “adult” person was always looming in front of me, smarter, stronger, more organized. Then the married person, then the person I’d become when we have kids. 
For twenty years, literally, I have waited to become the thin version of myself, because that’s when life will really begin. 

And through all that waiting, here I am. My life is passing, day by day, and I am waiting for it to start. I am waiting for that time, that person, that event when my life will finally begin.

 I love movies about “The Big Moment” – the game or the performance or the wedding day or the record deal, the stories that split time with that key event, and everything is reframed, before it and after it, because it has changed everything. I have always wanted this movie-worthy event, something that will change everything and grab me out of this waiting game into the whirlwind in front of me. I cry and cry at these movies, because I am still waiting for my own big moment. I had visions of life as an adventure, a thing to be celebrated and experienced, but all I was doing was going to work and coming home, and that wasn’t what it looked like in the movies. 

John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” For me, life is what was happening while I was busy waiting for my big moment. I was ready for it and believed that the rest of my life would fade into the background, and that my big moment would carry me through life like a lifeboat.The Big Moment, unfortunately, is an urban myth. Some people have them, in a sense, when they win the Heisman or become the next American Idol. But even that football player or that singer is living a life made up of more than that one moment. Life is a collection of a million, billion moments, tiny little moments and choices, like a handful of luminous, glowing pearl. It takes so much time, and so much work, and those beads and moments are so small, and so much less fabulous and dramatic than the movies. 

But this is what I’m finding, in glimpses and flashes: this is it. This is it, in the best possible way. That thing I’m waiting for, that adventure, that move-score-worthy experience unfolding gracefully. This is it. Normal, daily life ticking by on our streets and sidewalks, in our houses and apartments, in our beds and at our dinner tables, in our dreams and prayers and fights and secrets – this pedestrian life is the most precious thing any of use will ever experience." 

-Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life
(From :  http://pinterest.com/pin/266767977897005610/ )
Reading the above post on Pinterest by made me think. It is indeed true. We are often waiting. Waiting for our dreams to get fulfilled, our needs be met, our voids be filled.


During my 5 years of college, I wanted to be back in Doha. I used to think then, "oh yeah my 11 & 12th grade used to be soo good. Such good friends.blah.blah" until I came back home once and read through my old journals , which I had written while I was in high school. Most of the entires there were like , 'I wanna get out of the place' blah. Blah.

So basically this was the cycle .

While in school, wanted to finish it, get out of Doha, explore new places and people.

While in college, missed home, missed doha, had some crappy incidents, so there, wanted to finish it, come back to Doha & be with the family. Maybe even work here.

Now I am post college and am home. I am absolutely free. No duty, no responsibilites, no troubles and no studying nightmare also ---> kind of some thing like I wanted while I was preparing for my finals or my post graduate entrance. Now I want to leave Doha again, cos I am bored of doing nothing. Additionally, dream of better days, personally & professionally !

So basically , I realized, I have never learnt to enjoy the moment. I never take in the very essence of "single many moments finally make our life". I forget to realize that every single incident- good,bad or horrible- of past 6 years of life after school have made me what I am today. I wouldn't have been "me" as I am now, hadn't I gone through those !

Like these days , I am doing absolutely nothing besides driving classes ! I read, write, blog, tweet, watch serials, and pray big time. This is all, that I do of late. I donot interact much with my friends either online or through phone (No reasons , just until I clear my head and start functioning productively again, I am in my own coccoon) So basically my point is, there might come a time in my life when I am dealing with a husband, a child (or children) , a job (or a post graduate program) and have my days completely scheduled from 4 in the morning to 12 in the night & then maybe , I might miss these "doing-nothing-other-than-dream-of-a-better-tomorrow" days !!

These "completely free" days are exactly what once I dreamt of when I was utterly busy. So why am I complaining or whining over having to "do nothing " ?

Again comes back to the whole reason for this post - Waiting - How many years of our life do we waste waiting for things that would never come?

...and then I realize , feeling complete with all our desires/dreams/wishes can never be felt in the Dunya. It is an aspect of Jannah alone !

Before I sign off, I leave with this song by Sami Yusuf - Make me strong

 

Change - A permanent aspect of Life !

The dark clouds are covering the beautiful moon. Total darkness. After a little while, a shimmering light through the clouds can be seen. Then the hazy moon peeks through for a few minutes. And finally the full moon breaks free of the clouds and shines with its full glory . Light. For some time though.

...and the clouds cover up the moon again !

The evening clouds and its little game with the moon made me to reflect.

Every thing is in motion in this world. Even situations.

"Total darkness" is never permanent. For afterwards, a ray of light is often sent by Lord, which at times is seen by us with all its beauty & sometimes overlooked. "Full moon glory" is also ephemeral. Days pass, situations change, life unrolls....slowly !

In times of "total darkness", we should not despair of our Lord's Mercy.

In times of "full moon glory", we should not forget to be grateful to our Lord, for His Bountiful Bessings !

..... " Appappa"

Mar 27 2012. My (maternal) grandfather left for his eternal abode. May Allah forgive his sins, shower on him mercy & bless him with Jannathul Firdaus - Ameen.

...And suddenly I am left with no grandparent. All four of my grandparents have left the realm of this world. Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilehi Rajioon.

I miss all of them. Each in their own way. I know I am a product of multiplication of their genes. I carry with in me, atleast a trait or a habit or a character of them, which I myself might not be aware of.

We used to call our (maternal) grandfather - Appappa. I donot know which of my elder cousins came up with that name. But to everyone around, his grandkids and neighbour's kids, he was appappa.

To everyone who knew him, I am sure, the foremost memory which will come to them, of him, would be of his wit and humour. I remember, every summer when I used to India for my summer vacation, sitting and chuckling at his witty stories.

I didnot know of the hidden acts of kindness he had done, the innumerable help he had done to the poor people in our locality(until actually I heard someone casually mention of them). I am pretty sure none of his kids or grandkids also know of them. Only Allah, he & the receipients of his kind act do know of them. May Allah accept his every good deed and action.

Everytime I used to come to Calicut from college for a small break or so, he used to make sure I had chicken ,beef or something special to eat :D, cos "Avalkku hostelil onnum nallethu kittathetha(she doesnt get anything good in hostel)" even if it meant calling his favourite "right man" Koyammu, to go to the grocery, at an odd time of the day.

I called up and screamed to him the day when my final year results came to tell "I became a DOCTOR" !!! And he showered me with his blessings and love. I called him up after my Convocation to tell "I become a graduate" and there was pride beaming in his voice. He was the only grandparent I had to, finally tell that a dream of a lifetime did become a reality for me. Alhamdulilah

The last I talked to him was during my PG entrance exams and he gave me his best wishes. He told me " You should do your master's some day sure" Insha'allah, some day I will, Insha'allah , with Lord's grace !

He was so quite worried when my lil brother went to Jaipur for his engineering. He worried everytime I travelled to and fro , blore & doha. A grandparent's love can only be shown by a grandparent. In their wisdom of age, a lifetime of experience and spirituality ,indeed, there are lessons for us to learn.

Sooner or later, I will meet the man I will spend the rest of my life with (In sha'Allah ) and it saddens me no end to realize that "my man" would never be able to see my grandpa or any of my grandparents. I can only recount stories to him and my children ( In sha'Allah )

Someday soon when I make "Pathiri" from start to end on my own, I would dearly want to let grandpa know of it :( He always used to tease me "Pallu Undakunethu mathram padichal pora, pathiri undakunethum padikkanam" ---> (Learning how to make teeth alone isn't enough, you gotta learn how to make Pathiri too) Ah ! I miss you, Appappa , I really do... :(

He got married to grandma when he was 23 and she was 13. They lived together for 55+ years happily until she passed away in 2003. He lived 9 years alone without her. I often used to wonder how difficult it would have been for him ! And my cousin sis used to say, after grandma's death, he was never actually fully himself :(

He is survived today by 7 children, 24 grandkids,26 great grandkids and the family grows...... In sha Allah

In course of life, every human comes across situations like these. Death - that indeed is the truest fact of life. This grief and sorrow of losing a loved one will always be within us, until we close our own eyes. There will come a place where no grief shall touch us and where we will be with our loved ones. That is His Promised Gardens of Jannah.

May Allah Subhanahu Wa Tala' unite us again with our loved ones in the eternal blissful gardens of His Jannah - Ameen.

(and a small article in Malayalam http://malabardigest.com/?p=849
)

A witness to each other's LIFE..... !

I am presently posted in Oral & Maxillofacial Surgery....ok my least favourite ! But ,Alhamdulilah, many instances & situations I have learnt from....

A bright Wednesday morning, HOD 's off day....& So we breathe a lil easy....It was just me & another co-intern present today.Rest two were on leave....

TRUST..........!

A sailor was stuck in an island where he was the only survivor.
He made a hut for his shelter. He was waiting for someone to help, but no one came. He stored food in the hut for his survival, but one day, the hut burnt to ashes and nothng was left of it.
He was so angry,he said,"God, why have you done this to me??"

The next morning rescuers came. Sailor asked,"How did you know that I am here?"
They replied..
"V saw a smoke signal!"

Trust ALLAH..
His plans are always greater than ours...! :-)


(A forward msg I received recently & wish to share! =) )