Let go, move on.

The first on the To-do list on my blog is to change the name. Made it around 5 years back. It sounds quite teenage -ish  now. (Personal Pensieve - Harry potter inspired name ! :D)

That left me thinking. 5 years on, I have evolved and changed as a person, both personally and in the spiritual sense. At the end of the day, change is the only permanent aspect of our life. Any change that makes us a better person and in turn helps to bring us closer to our Lord is a welcome difference.

Yesterday, I met with around 7 of my classmates from my school. In that 2 of them were my closest buddies in school. In between all the catching up, laughter and just general banter, I realized how much my priorities has changed now. How my likes and interests differs from what it was once. How what I enjoyed once as a conversation topic does not entice me anymore. Different career paths, stronger realization to fulfill my religious duties, different environments in the past 6-7 years all might have contributed to the variation in thinking and perceptions, among st us all, though we are the same bunch of girls who grew up together for 10 years.

Again, made me to reflect on to the aspect of 'letting go'. Friends who were once an important part of our life cannot always remain so. The path of life meanders. Being on the same path just so as to maintain a friendship might not always be in our best interest as an individual. It is alright to let go, to move on.

Sometimes we are the ones who leave other's behind. Sometimes we are the ones left behind. It is not due to a deficiency in our character or theirs. Just that our role in their life is over. Thinking against a person who stopped being in regular contact as before is not always right. They might be on a different page of life than us. That does not make them less of a friend. In one dimension of time, they might have been our dear friend. Hard feelings against a friend will only make us forget the good times spent together.

Cherish the memories of the past friendship. Strengthen the bonds of present. Open your eyes for friendships to be formed in the future.

There are many more new people to be met ! There are many more friendships to be forged !

PS : 'Letting go' does not apply to the closest of friends. In that case, disturb them as much as you can ! ;)

Interest Vs Job.

The Indian education system is more of 'job-oriented' than 'interest-oriented'. Add to it, the mindset of the middle class Indian population of children being doctors & engineers bringing honour to the family. Having to take this very important decision at an age as young as 15/16 or 18 doesn't help either. With this, we have a major tragedy of creative and talented youth stuck in a mediocre job for which they rarely have any interest or passion, in our society.

How many amongst our midst are stuck in a software company in Bangalore ? How many of us hate the smell of hospitals, yet still return there, day in & day out ? How many of us hate holding the mouth mirror & probe, yet do the same everyday ?

I am not overlooking the fact there are dedicated engineers & medical professionals who absolutely love what they do. But pointing towards the vast majority of group of college graduates who go in 'with the flow' without ever realising their true potential and interest.

We look down upon a graduate of English Literatue or Botany or Geology thinking we have a more "professional" degree than them. Rarely we realize the fact, when they have taken a path which brings them immense satisfaction, we have just followed the flock. The joke is upon us, not them.

The people who brave all odds and try to become script-writers, film-directors, artists, writers are either not encouraged by their own family or some times, the support of loved one is present, but the employment sector does not show kindness to them, thus resulting in a disheartened individual who loses faith in his own abilities.

The injury becomes worse with the tailor-made nature of the Indian curriculum at graduate level. A medical/dental/engineering graduate etc can take only subjects related to their particular field. There is no option of dual major or taking subjects/courses as per one's interest, as like some of the western curriculum.

Most people have a desire to learn, not to have a fancy degree after their name or get a fatter pay-check but just simply for the need to know and increase in awareness and understanding of their favourite subject. Our education system fails in fulfilling this desire to learn and most of the time, curbs any desire to "study".

Some of my friends overseas are doing their major in 'International Relations', 'Conflict Resolution and Analysis' 'Creative Writing', 'Human Computer Interaction'. Yeah, I never knew such specialized branch of degrees even existed !

Mind set change, revamp of our educational system, in-depth & comprehensive analysis of aptitude individually, awareness of different options available - these might help in bringing a change of this sorry state of our youth. ( ..and so easy to put in words on a blog !!)

If ever given a chance to study subjects varied from my dental degree, it would be Math, Creative Writing, Tafseer, Comparative Religion ;) What would be your's ?

(If you are some one I know, don't come running with a pan, asking when did I start 'not loving' dentistry. No worries. That commitment is for a lifetime :D )

Monosyllablic

My prayer for this year :

• Faith
• Joy
• Stability
• Success
• Love
• Direction
• Opportunities
• Travel
• People
• Knowledge
• Hope

That fine line...

As much as humility is a good character in any individual, it is also highly important for us to realise there is a fine line between humility & self- depreciation.

As many as there are people who blow their own trumpet or behave arrogantly , there are innumerable people with multi-faceted talents who think they donot "deserve" all the recognition, achievement they received. It could be due to a teacher who made them believe so, as a child or it could be due to being an average child of an over-achieving family. Yes, indeed, freudian theory ! Much of our emotions & habits as an adult is often due to certain incidents and impressions from our childhood.

"I don't deserve this. How can I achieve that? Why will that person love me? I am not good enough for such happiness " Do such thoughts haunt you?

If you fall into any of the above category, you are probably treading on that fine line. You could ask me, the above qualities are of a person with low self esteem not of humble-turned-self depreciatory. It could be or maybe it is a dangerous mix of all three.

If you think you are not worth a success, think again, you are worth that & all more.

If you think you don't deserve a promotion at the office, because some one else is there better than you, think again, there might be traits in you, beneficial for the post.

If you think you are not worth someone's time or worth being loved, think again, you are probably a gem of a person.


My advice to you is only this : Wholeheartedly, believe YOU deserve the best in any situation. You donot need the certificate or vote of honour from another person to believe that. You donot need another individual to validate your existence in a special way to believe that. It start's from YOU alone. You are, after all, a perfect creation of THE PERFECT CREATOR.

.. and, if you are one of those, who knows some one with such qualities please realise...

Such people are quite patient and helpful so much so that their sense of service to others can be often taken advantage of. They can be easily abused by loved ones or by people in power. They often go out of their way to help others.

But along with it, also do know that their patience with you is upto a limit, especially if you have been abusing them of their trust or their time.

They can walk miles on a rocky road without shoes, for you. But with that arises the fact, the soles of their feet might start bleeding after some time, they *might* be forced to stop....

Simple pleasures

I find happiness in ...

• Lying on my warm bed on a cold winter night.
• Mom bringing a hot cup of ginger-tea while I am down with illness.
• Niece snuggling in my hand and going off to sleep.
• Brother coming home for the weekend & then the house is all "noisy"
• Good morning post from friend in Australia when it's only 2 AM here.
• Reading the same book over and over again.
• A friend randomly messaging & making a dua.
• Friend - "Before I go for Umrah, give me your dua list"
• A cold night's silence being broken by the laughter of children playing outside.
• Dad quietly going to masjid for Fajr so as not wake up the baby in the house.
• Reaching back the same weight that I was while in school. Jeans/salwars becoming loose ;)
• Brother bringing gifts from Jaipur -a earring & small hand held mirror.
• Snuggling warm in my bed & watching Friends or Gilmore Girls, episode after episode.
• Learning Tafsir of a Chapter from a Sheikh far away in Texas.
• Listening to stories from the Seerah from a scholar in Zimbawe.
• Retorting to/getting replied to every tweet with a quick witted answer.
• Whatsapp ;)
• Taking an early morning ride through Doha Corniche.
• Reading a "Thoughts Catalog" article which perfectly describes my situation

Eid Blessing !

This blog has always been a reflection of the extremes of my emotions - happiness or sadness !

...and , so I jot down here the exhilarating feeling of the past few days. No words can ever do justice to completely comprehend the depth of what I feel now, but then I shall try.

The past few days again teaches me : Every prayer gets answered at the most perfect of times, as and when, willed by Allah. Alhamdulilah.

I became an aunt to a beautiful baby girl born in the wee morning hours of the day of Eid al Adha. ( Dhul Hijjah 10 1433/ October 26th 2012). Alhamdulilah Ya Rabb.

Alhamdulilah, sister and baby are doing fine :-)

A blessing so tiny in her size yet has already captured all our hearts. A blessing for us to turn back to Him to say the word  of Shukr for His cloak of Rahma , always on our family. A blessing where we have already fully enveloped and embraced another new person into our family and our lives, as though she has always been a part of us, all this while. A blessing whom we have loved even before she was born.

For me, personally, a blessing to always remind myself, to never lose hope. No tears go unseen by the Almighty.

I know, I have made dua for this particular blessing in the early morning hours in Tahajjud, during the time I break my fast, in the nights of Ramadan, while I travel, while it rains, in the evening hours on a friday - every occasion where we have been promised our duas will get answered... & I know, every member of my family has done the same. Alhamdulilah, a million times , for our prayers being answered.

There comes a time in every family, when the kids have finished school, left for college or got married and a silence descends. A grandchild changes the entire dynamic of the family and brings in a whole lot of ''welcomed noise'' :-)

To my baby niece : I shall forever remind you how much of hope you brought to me at a time when I thought I shall have none anymore. I could sit all day gazing at your peaceful sleeping face.

May Allah bless you with the best in this world and the next.
May He make you, a coolness of your parent's eyes.
May He make you a blessed member of Our Ummah who helps in carrying forward the flag of our Deen
May He keep you protected,always - Ameen

...and, alhamdulilah, since you are blessed with your dad's good looks, I pray that you are blessed with your mom's intelligence ;) - Ameen        

( Ma sha Allah, Tabaraka Allah )


Sometimes, photographs can never really capture the entire moment. Words start failing. Yet, they are the moments truly lived.

Cousin Gyaan!

On having many ''adventurous'' situations during my flights between Doha and Bangalore over the years, one of my cousins remarked, " Everything in my life, be it job or personal, is similar to yours. There is always always a setback initially. But eventually, everything straightens itself "

Today, he is working in a top firm in Makkah, being able to pray all 5 times in The Haram.

I have hope.

Alhamdulilah