This post is basically written so that blog doesnt go empty in the first month of 2012 itself. And maybe another one of those venting episodes !
Just realized it has been 4 years since I started blogging, though I aint a frequent blogger. I like having my own space on web-o-sphere. And yes I hardly let any one I know in real life, know about the blog.
Here, I am back in the same place where I spent 5 years of my life, preparing for my post- graduate entrance exams. One down. 6 more exams to go. Insha'allah. I wonder how will I fare in them.
For a long time , I was confused whether I really wanted to do MDS or not,considering the fact ,I really didnt have the strength in me to stay again for 3 more years without anyone around ,so far away from my dear family.. Then when I finally realized I wanted to do and started preparing for the exams, maybe ,it was just a lil bit late. Hmm.. Dono. Anyways trying my level best now, Insha'allah! I really do pray and hope I get in through and get a seat of my choice in a city I can live by.
I waited for a long time for some door to open up for me. I waited for some signs from Lord. Nothing did. Alhamdulilah for it, cos then I finally understood ,I cannot keep expecting life to happen. I have to make it happen for myself, all by myself. We have to do our part & then leave the rest to Lord. Preparing for PG is one of the first steps in it. Insha'allah.
A few months back, at home, seeing my agonizing confused state ,my mom adviced me, 'go pray Salaathul Isthikhara. Ask Allah for guidance. He knows your troubles' . And seriously , I supposed it changed my outlook a whole lot. I had read/studied about Salathul Isthikhara a lot. But never really prayed until then. I used to think it was only for decisions related to marriage or so. I was wrong. I understand now, it is for any decision in regards. To ask Allah to bless us with something which is good for us in our Deen, our livelihood, our affairs, both in this world and in the Hereafter and also for us to be pleased and happy with the blessing. I would suggest the same ,to anyone going through indecisive or confusive stages of their life. I only wished I had prayed earlier.
There is none who knows us better than Allah Subhanahu Wa'Tala'.
Besides, a close friend of mine got 'nikkah-ed' . Couldn't be there for the function cos of the so called exams. Felt really low cos we grew up together, had our crazy girl's dreams together, and she is one of the only two people whom I had promised (since childhood) that I would be there for her big day, but I couldn't ! Insha'allah hoping to be there for the reception. May Allah Almighty bless you with the best in this world & the Hereafter Akhira. May your days ahead be blessed with joy, love & happiness and may it erase all those dark, depressing days, you had gone through. May you both remain under God's protection always & May He make this union a reason for you both to come closer to Him.
Before I vent, any more of my boring thoughts, I really need to stop, I suppose :D
'O overturner of hearts, make my heart firm in your religion'
Ya Rabb, make me among the company of the righteous .
Ya Rabb, make me one of your slaves who is always pleased and happy with Your Decree.
