Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
7:55 PM
Jan 6, 2014
To explore the genre of creative writing and to write using prompts, I have started another blog on Wordpress. Do visit me there and leave your valuable comments.
I write at Shahira. (Earlier known as The Word Trance)
PS : I shall continue blogging here. (Yes, that exam is still there! )
Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
8:53 AM
Jan 1, 2014
Beside, one digit on the year, there is no difference between yesterday and today. Yet, there is a feeling of rejuvenation.
Beginning brings in hope, thus helping us in moving forward. A better professional life. A peaceful personal life. We dream that this year will be better than the last. With all due probability, it could be the same or worse. Yet, we move forward with the hopeful dream of a better 2014. Hope helps us to thrive. Hope helps in giving wings to our dreams.
May He bless us with Rajaa' and Ridha. ( Hope and contentment)
Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
4:04 PM
Dec 1, 2013
Being a very private person, I have kept this blog away from most people I know. Also, I have never joined in any blogger forums, groups, etc until now. This blog was mostly a 'Dear Diary' started in my 2nd year of college, where I could vent my frustrations. My initial thought was, who would be interested in another person's rant ?!
After hearing some reviews from some tweeps and two of my closest friends and their advices telling me to keep this blog public, I am doing so now. I have joined a couple of blogger directorys too.
As the readership of this blog grows, I am on a fix, as to what topics should I blog about. After all, if other people are reading, there should be some beneficial content !
... and so, I have decided on these few topics. (I dont know if I will purely stick to these. Anyways, I shall try)
● Excerpts from any interesting book I read. Book reviews.
● Notes from my Tafseer sessions.
● Literary work.
● Relevant topics to my community -Malayalee Muslimah.
● Personal opinion, funny incidents, and life everyday.
Do let me know, if you have any more suggestions.
Thank you.
(Edit : Fighting my blog-introversion and hence added Google Friend Connect and Subscribe by email )
Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
2:23 PM
Nov 17, 2013
I can hear the rain falling on to the interlocked floor in front of the house. Soft pitter patter.
At the corner of the porch lies a small bend pipe which brings in water from the top terrace. The water drips down. The leaves of the mango tree are glistening with rain drops. Rain drops stay at the tip of every strand of the pinnate coconut leaf.
The electric cables pass through pole to pole, street to street , house to house in Kerala. Single drops stand on to the cables for a little while, then falls on to the ground, absorbed by the mud below. Dust we become.
The coastal sand absorbs in the water from heaven with all its glory, turns a shade of deep brown. Rain is a blessing.
Occasionally , a youngster zooms past the house on his bike enjoying the rain lashing. Kids run away from the watchful eyes of their mother, just to enjoy this divine miracle falling on to their tiny hands.
Kids walk in the rain with their hand outstretched. If allowed, they would any day full drench in the rain. Adults walk under the comfort of the umbrellas. To enjoy the moment, we need to learn from the children.
The dragonflies which filled the field of tapioca in the morning, is gone now. Where do they go when it rains?
Slowly, the sky clears. Sunlight can be seen seeping through the clouds. The interlocked floors look clear and shiny. Silent calm around. Wet mud. Everything looks rejuvenated.
Maybe, occasionally, we need a rain to clear up our vision.
Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
11:38 PM
Jan 23, 2013
The Indian education system is more of 'job-oriented' than 'interest-oriented'. Add to it, the mindset of the middle class Indian population of children being doctors & engineers bringing honour to the family. Having to take this very important decision at an age as young as 15/16 or 18 doesn't help either. With this, we have a major tragedy of creative and talented youth stuck in a mediocre job for which they rarely have any interest or passion, in our society.
How many amongst our midst are stuck in a software company in Bangalore ? How many of us hate the smell of hospitals, yet still return there, day in & day out ? How many of us hate holding the mouth mirror & probe, yet do the same everyday ?
I am not overlooking the fact there are dedicated engineers & medical professionals who absolutely love what they do. But pointing towards the vast majority of group of college graduates who go in 'with the flow' without ever realising their true potential and interest.
We look down upon a graduate of English Literatue or Botany or Geology thinking we have a more "professional" degree than them. Rarely we realize the fact, when they have taken a path which brings them immense satisfaction, we have just followed the flock. The joke is upon us, not them.
The people who brave all odds and try to become script-writers, film-directors, artists, writers are either not encouraged by their own family or some times, the support of loved one is present, but the employment sector does not show kindness to them, thus resulting in a disheartened individual who loses faith in his own abilities.
The injury becomes worse with the tailor-made nature of the Indian curriculum at graduate level. A medical/dental/engineering graduate etc can take only subjects related to their particular field. There is no option of dual major or taking subjects/courses as per one's interest, as like some of the western curriculum.
Most people have a desire to learn, not to have a fancy degree after their name or get a fatter pay-check but just simply for the need to know and increase in awareness and understanding of their favourite subject. Our education system fails in fulfilling this desire to learn and most of the time, curbs any desire to "study".
Some of my friends overseas are doing their major in 'International Relations', 'Conflict Resolution and Analysis' 'Creative Writing', 'Human Computer Interaction'. Yeah, I never knew such specialized branch of degrees even existed !
Mind set change, revamp of our educational system, in-depth & comprehensive analysis of aptitude individually, awareness of different options available - these might help in bringing a change of this sorry state of our youth. ( ..and so easy to put in words on a blog !!)
If ever given a chance to study subjects varied from my dental degree, it would be Math, Creative Writing, Tafseer, Comparative Religion ;) What would be your's ?
(If you are some one I know, don't come running with a pan, asking when did I start 'not loving' dentistry. No worries. That commitment is for a lifetime :D )
Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
8:13 PM
Dec 26, 2012
As much as humility is a good character in any individual, it is also highly important for us to realise there is a fine line between humility & self- depreciation.
As many as there are people who blow their own trumpet or behave arrogantly , there are innumerable people with multi-faceted talents who think they donot "deserve" all the recognition, achievement they received. It could be due to a teacher who made them believe so, as a child or it could be due to being an average child of an over-achieving family. Yes, indeed, freudian theory ! Much of our emotions & habits as an adult is often due to certain incidents and impressions from our childhood.
"I don't deserve this. How can I achieve that? Why will that person love me? I am not good enough for such happiness " Do such thoughts haunt you?
If you fall into any of the above category, you are probably treading on that fine line. You could ask me, the above qualities are of a person with low self esteem not of humble-turned-self depreciatory. It could be or maybe it is a dangerous mix of all three.
If you think you are not worth a success, think again, you are worth that & all more.
If you think you don't deserve a promotion at the office, because some one else is there better than you, think again, there might be traits in you, beneficial for the post.
If you think you are not worth someone's time or worth being loved, think again, you are probably a gem of a person.
My advice to you is only this : Wholeheartedly, believe YOU deserve the best in any situation. You donot need the certificate or vote of honour from another person to believe that. You donot need another individual to validate your existence in a special way to believe that. It start's from YOU alone. You are, after all, a perfect creation of THE PERFECT CREATOR.
.. and, if you are one of those, who knows some one with such qualities please realise...
Such people are quite patient and helpful so much so that their sense of service to others can be often taken advantage of. They can be easily abused by loved ones or by people in power. They often go out of their way to help others.
But along with it, also do know that their patience with you is upto a limit, especially if you have been abusing them of their trust or their time.
They can walk miles on a rocky road without shoes, for you. But with that arises the fact, the soles of their feet might start bleeding after some time, they *might* be forced to stop....
Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
7:46 PM
Oct 13, 2012
“Believe that this way of living, this focus on the present, the daily, the tangible, this intense concentration not on the news headlines but on the flowers growing in your own garden, the children growing in your own home, this way of living has the potential to open up the heavens, to yield a glittering handful of diamonds where a second ago there was coal. This way of living and noticing and building and crafting can crack through the movie sets and soundtracks that keep us waiting for our own life stories to begin, and set us free to observe the lives we have been creating all along without ever realizing it.
I don’t want to wait anymore. I choose to believe that there is nothing more sacred or profound than this day. I choose to believe that there may be a thousand big moments embedded in this day, waiting to be discovered like tiny shards of gold. The big moments are the daily, tiny moments of courage and forgiveness and hope that we grab on to and extend to one another. That’s the drama of life, swirling all around us, and generally I don’t even see it, because I’m too busy waiting to become whatever it is I think I am about to become. The big moments are in every hour, every conversation, every meal, every meeting.
The Heisman Trophy winner knows this. He knows that his big moment was not when they gave him the trophy. It was the thousand times he went to practice instead of going back to bed. It was the miles run on rainy days, the healthy meals when a burger sounded like heaven. That big moment represented and rested on a foundation of moments that had come before it.
I believe that if we cultivate a true attention, a deep ability to see what has been there all along, we will find worlds within us and between us, dreams and stories and memories spilling over. The nuances and shades and secrets and intimations of love and friendship and marriage an parenting are action-packed and multicolored, if you know where to look.
Today is your big moment. Moments, really. The life you’ve been waiting for is happening all around you. The scene unfolding right outside your window is worth more than the most beautiful painting, and the crackers and peanut butter that you’re having for lunch on the coffee table are as profound, in their own way, as the Last Supper. This is it. This is life in all its glory, swirling and unfolding around us, disguised as pedantic, pedestrian non-events. But pull of the mask and you will find your life, waiting to be made, chosen, woven, crafted.
Your life, right now, today, is exploding with energy and power and detail and dimension, better than the best movie you have ever seen. You and your family and your friends and your house and your dinner table and your garage have all the makings of a life of epic proportions, a story for the ages. Because they all are. Every life is.
You have stories worth telling, memories worth remembering, dreams worth working toward, a body worth feeding, a soul worth tending, and beyond that, the God of the universe dwells within you, the true culmination of super and natural. You are more than dust and bones. You are spirit and power and image of God. And you have been given Today.”
― Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life
Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
8:28 PM
May 19, 2012
An update from a mother. This touched a chord, for obvious reasons :)
I remember when my second daughter was born with darker skin color then the rest of the family and I was made to feel as a mother that she was somehow less then my other daughter, less lucky, less beautiful, less.
Like she didn't deserve to wear certain colors, and I shouldn't rejoice in her adorableness just because Allah had chosen for her skin color to be a shade between chocolate and caramel instead of vanilla.
I am not ashamed of loving her a wee bit extra, she reminds me of myself. Earthy.
I have always emphasized inner beauty, and never thought I would have to teach a daughter of mine the value of outer beauty but I have to with her. Dark skin is beautiful, just as lovely to behold as light skin. I don't want her to ever feel like she has to hold back and not follow her dreams because she is made to feel less.
She is a beautiful little girl, effervescent, funny and filled with love, with a propinquity towards the dramatic. Its only on days that she is made to feel less that she visibly withers. On days when a new family will meet us and say in front of her "My, your other three look alike and she is so different".
My love... it is okay to be different. Allah created you this way. Your smile is precious. You glow like Venus when it rises in the Eastern sky, don't sink in the glare of the morning twilight ...you are beautiful.
Growing up , (even now!) I was always told to wear certain coloured dresses.I was told only a black coloured scarf would suit me. I have received literally racist like comments, at times , from the people most closest to me. I was made to feel something of "less"because of my skin complexion.
It took me a long time to finally find myself , but I did , Alhamdulilah.
It has taught me like the person above says - Earthiness !
It has taught me to love myself first and to never think anything less of myself because of another person's opinion.
It has taught myself to NEVER judge a person due to their looks/ skin complexion/ attire/ differences.
It has taught me to be broad minded !
I hope I did read some thing like this , when I was a child.
I hope I was reminded over and over again I am a creation of The Most Beautiful Creator.
Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
12:41 AM
Apr 24, 2012
"I have always, essentially, been waiting. Waiting to become something else, waiting to be that person I always thought I was on the verge of becoming, waiting for that life I thought I would have. In my head, I was always one step away. In high school, I was biding my time until I could become the college version of myself, the one my mind could see so clearly. In college, the post-college “adult” person was always looming in front of me, smarter, stronger, more organized. Then the married person, then the person I’d become when we have kids. For twenty years, literally, I have waited to become the thin version of myself, because that’s when life will really begin. And through all that waiting, here I am. My life is passing, day by day, and I am waiting for it to start. I am waiting for that time, that person, that event when my life will finally begin. I love movies about “The Big Moment” – the game or the performance or the wedding day or the record deal, the stories that split time with that key event, and everything is reframed, before it and after it, because it has changed everything. I have always wanted this movie-worthy event, something that will change everything and grab me out of this waiting game into the whirlwind in front of me. I cry and cry at these movies, because I am still waiting for my own big moment. I had visions of life as an adventure, a thing to be celebrated and experienced, but all I was doing was going to work and coming home, and that wasn’t what it looked like in the movies. John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” For me, life is what was happening while I was busy waiting for my big moment. I was ready for it and believed that the rest of my life would fade into the background, and that my big moment would carry me through life like a lifeboat.The Big Moment, unfortunately, is an urban myth. Some people have them, in a sense, when they win the Heisman or become the next American Idol. But even that football player or that singer is living a life made up of more than that one moment. Life is a collection of a million, billion moments, tiny little moments and choices, like a handful of luminous, glowing pearl. It takes so much time, and so much work, and those beads and moments are so small, and so much less fabulous and dramatic than the movies. But this is what I’m finding, in glimpses and flashes: this is it. This is it, in the best possible way. That thing I’m waiting for, that adventure, that move-score-worthy experience unfolding gracefully. This is it. Normal, daily life ticking by on our streets and sidewalks, in our houses and apartments, in our beds and at our dinner tables, in our dreams and prayers and fights and secrets – this pedestrian life is the most precious thing any of use will ever experience." -Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life (From : http://pinterest.com/pin/266767977897005610/ ) Reading the above post on Pinterest by made me think. It is indeed true. We are often waiting. Waiting for our dreams to get fulfilled, our needs be met, our voids be filled.
During my 5 years of college, I wanted to be back in Doha. I used to think then, "oh yeah my 11 & 12th grade used to be soo good. Such good friends.blah.blah" until I came back home once and read through my old journals , which I had written while I was in high school. Most of the entires there were like , 'I wanna get out of the place' blah. Blah.
So basically this was the cycle .
While in school, wanted to finish it, get out of Doha, explore new places and people.
While in college, missed home, missed doha, had some crappy incidents, so there, wanted to finish it, come back to Doha & be with the family. Maybe even work here.
Now I am post college and am home. I am absolutely free. No duty, no responsibilites, no troubles and no studying nightmare also ---> kind of some thing like I wanted while I was preparing for my finals or my post graduate entrance. Now I want to leave Doha again, cos I am bored of doing nothing. Additionally, dream of better days, personally & professionally !
So basically , I realized, I have never learnt to enjoy the moment. I never take in the very essence of "single many moments finally make our life". I forget to realize that every single incident- good,bad or horrible- of past 6 years of life after school have made me what I am today. I wouldn't have been "me" as I am now, hadn't I gone through those !
Like these days , I am doing absolutely nothing besides driving classes ! I read, write, blog, tweet, watch serials, and pray big time. This is all, that I do of late. I donot interact much with my friends either online or through phone (No reasons , just until I clear my head and start functioning productively again, I am in my own coccoon) So basically my point is, there might come a time in my life when I am dealing with a husband, a child (or children) , a job (or a post graduate program) and have my days completely scheduled from 4 in the morning to 12 in the night & then maybe , I might miss these "doing-nothing-other-than-dream-of-a-better-tomorrow" days !!
These "completely free" days are exactly what once I dreamt of when I was utterly busy. So why am I complaining or whining over having to "do nothing " ?
Again comes back to the whole reason for this post - Waiting - How many years of our life do we waste waiting for things that would never come?
...and then I realize , feeling complete with all our desires/dreams/wishes can never be felt in the Dunya. It is an aspect of Jannah alone !
Before I sign off, I leave with this song by Sami Yusuf - Make me strong
Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
8:08 PM
Apr 5, 2012
The dark clouds are covering the beautiful moon. Total darkness. After a little while, a shimmering light through the clouds can be seen. Then the hazy moon peeks through for a few minutes. And finally the full moon breaks free of the clouds and shines with its full glory . Light. For some time though.
...and the clouds cover up the moon again !
The evening clouds and its little game with the moon made me to reflect.
Every thing is in motion in this world. Even situations.
"Total darkness" is never permanent. For afterwards, a ray of light is often sent by Lord, which at times is seen by us with all its beauty & sometimes overlooked. "Full moon glory" is also ephemeral. Days pass, situations change, life unrolls....slowly !
In times of "total darkness", we should not despair of our Lord's Mercy.
In times of "full moon glory", we should not forget to be grateful to our Lord, for His Bountiful Bessings !
Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
10:11 PM
Feb 15, 2012
I come here again to rant.
The past 2 months have been tiring. Just tiring. With all these PG exams. Realized the true competition of Medical Entrance only now. Two more exams to go. But I have completely lost hope now. Maybe I might not clear this time. Maybe I might never write these exams again. Don't know. I donot know when did the optimist me become a completely pessimist me .
There is something I have been hoping for. Dreaming for. Wishing for. Praying for.
But I trust the Divine Decree. Whatsoever it is. It is the 6th pillar of Iman - To believe in fate, good or evil.
My Rabb knows me better than I do myself. His Plan for me is anyday better than my lowly desires and wishes. Thawakalthu-ala- Allah ! :)
Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
6:06 PM
Jan 16, 2012
This post is basically written so that blog doesnt go empty in the first month of 2012 itself. And maybe another one of those venting episodes !
Just realized it has been 4 years since I started blogging, though I aint a frequent blogger. I like having my own space on web-o-sphere. And yes I hardly let any one I know in real life, know about the blog.
Here, I am back in the same place where I spent 5 years of my life, preparing for my post- graduate entrance exams. One down. 6 more exams to go. Insha'allah. I wonder how will I fare in them.
For a long time , I was confused whether I really wanted to do MDS or not,considering the fact ,I really didnt have the strength in me to stay again for 3 more years without anyone around ,so far away from my dear family.. Then when I finally realized I wanted to do and started preparing for the exams, maybe ,it was just a lil bit late. Hmm.. Dono. Anyways trying my level best now, Insha'allah! I really do pray and hope I get in through and get a seat of my choice in a city I can live by.
I waited for a long time for some door to open up for me. I waited for some signs from Lord. Nothing did. Alhamdulilah for it, cos then I finally understood ,I cannot keep expecting life to happen. I have to make it happen for myself, all by myself. We have to do our part & then leave the rest to Lord. Preparing for PG is one of the first steps in it. Insha'allah.
A few months back, at home, seeing my agonizing confused state ,my mom adviced me, 'go pray Salaathul Isthikhara. Ask Allah for guidance. He knows your troubles' . And seriously , I supposed it changed my outlook a whole lot. I had read/studied about Salathul Isthikhara a lot. But never really prayed until then. I used to think it was only for decisions related to marriage or so. I was wrong. I understand now, it is for any decision in regards. To ask Allah to bless us with something which is good for us in our Deen, our livelihood, our affairs, both in this world and in the Hereafter and also for us to be pleased and happy with the blessing. I would suggest the same ,to anyone going through indecisive or confusive stages of their life. I only wished I had prayed earlier.
There is none who knows us better than Allah Subhanahu Wa'Tala'.
Besides, a close friend of mine got 'nikkah-ed' . Couldn't be there for the function cos of the so called exams. Felt really low cos we grew up together, had our crazy girl's dreams together, and she is one of the only two people whom I had promised (since childhood) that I would be there for her big day, but I couldn't ! Insha'allah hoping to be there for the reception. May Allah Almighty bless you with the best in this world & the Hereafter Akhira. May your days ahead be blessed with joy, love & happiness and may it erase all those dark, depressing days, you had gone through. May you both remain under God's protection always & May He make this union a reason for you both to come closer to Him.
Before I vent, any more of my boring thoughts, I really need to stop, I suppose :D
'O overturner of hearts, make my heart firm in your religion'
Ya Rabb, make me among the company of the righteous .
Ya Rabb, make me one of your slaves who is always pleased and happy with Your Decree.
Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
9:23 PM
Jun 16, 2011
Growing up I had a million dream & one,(time n again , like I have written on my blog) was to work with WHO or UNICEF.To help impoverished children and kids affected by war .
I donot know when it came to my head...but I remember seeing a footage on TV ( Al Jazeera or QTV, don't remember) as a 12 year old, about the 12 year old Palestinian Child , Muhammad Al Durrah, who was shot dead during clashes between Israeli soldiers & Palestinian security officials.The boy was killed while his father tried to save his precious child"s life hiding behind a concrete cylinder.Losing a child is difficult for any parent. Imagine ,the anguish of the father who lost his child in front of his own eyes!?
Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
9:30 PM
Nov 24, 2010
In the cross-roads of life,that is the position I am in now!
After struggling 4 years with books,day & night,I realize,I need to go on
longer if I really wanna be in some 'position' & also maybe struggle again a year more with entrance books to struggle 3 more years!(Three times ,the word struggle ! :D)
I am going through what every Intern goes through-Uncertainity!
Is the whole lot of information I MUGGED UP gonna be a waste?
Am I gonna do my post graduation,If so in which branch of dentistry?
In which part of the world am I gonna settle down?India or the middle east or still farther?
Depending on the country depends my future study plans,so again,a whole lot of question marks!
How is my clinical practice going to be?
Entrance exams with the big E!
& many more sawaal
But....
One thing,life has taught me...
Whatever is decided by God is what is gonna happen
& eventually always it is the BEST!!
Just Trust in Lord-dad always tells us-& I realize its power!
Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
9:49 PM
Jul 3, 2010
It has been like absolutely forever since I updated my blog..not that any1 reads this....but felt like updating this ,so here it is!!....
The first update on this blog was while I was in 2nd year.....n now I am here..just written my final year theory exams.....clinicals left...jus hoping wid all prayers to Almighty...that it goes fine....Insha'allah!
How much life has changed these past 4 years?! Away from home...in a new city...the number of people I have met....the experiences I am enriched with....the things I have learnt...Surely it has helped me mature n grow up!I would never have had this insight into 'life' had I stayed at home after my 12 th! But miss home everyday.....miss u umma, uppa .....everyday , every minute..... Rabirhamhuma Kama Rabbayani Sa'eera... My prayers always for u!!May Allah Almighty ease all your load,wipe all your worries n give u the BEST in this world n hereafter Akhira!! Ameen...
Talking about life here...I must surely mention the 'pangs of loneliness' that has crushed me at times!But Alhamdulilah.....I feel ,I have always been under Allah's love n protection! Maybe Umma 's prayer for me!Maybe that's what has helped me to overcome all the difficulties that I have been afflicted with.....A mom's prayer & a dad's strength!
I realize....never underestimate a MOM's prayer for her child! It's just very powerful....
I wonder what the rest of the year is gonna bring me....but whatever it is ,Thawakkalthul Ala Allah.....
Till my next episode! :D wonder when it will b ...
Posted by
Dentistry in Doha
at
11:31 AM
Oct 30, 2009
Congrats J, for ur Amazing score in SAT....am shoo proud of u ,baby bro!! :)
May Allah Almighty help u to scale greater heights of glory n success!!
May U reach the 'altitude' that u have always dreamt of! n frankly I have never met any one else, who has a more persistent dream since childhood, than U!! :)
Congrats S,for the fixing of ur Marriage Date!
Waiting to see U as the Beautiful Dulhan ,all shy n decked up ,on UR day!! :)
May Allah Bless U both wid Faith,Happiness n Success ,every minute of ur life! :)
My Abode of Peace
Solace
Showers of blessing.
Hop and Jump
