Mar 7, 2012
I am writing this only to clear my head and to finish off today with today. 15 more minutes for 12 and I will finish today with this.

Too often I have been wondering why my life happens this way. There are so many people who get things so easily, where as I always had to struggle to get whatever I wanted. I know Allah tests the people whom He loves most. So I try to think , He loves me...but somewhere, I lose track of my optimism.and today is one such day.

I succeded til now in almost everything I did ( God's grace alone, Alhamdulilah ) and yet when in the wake of this failure, I cannot cope with it. My mind is too weak. My heart is swaying to some unknown beat.

All that I want to do and is doing is to cry...just cry to my hearts content, so that when I finish, my mind can become clear and heart can become strong again.... I have lost many things in life, some of which were never mine to begin with...

It is extremely hard to go about smiling to everyone, to your loved ones, for fear of hurting them, even thought you feel broken and depressed. I wish to be strong again, atleast for them.

I am too complicated right now, even for myself. 24 hours to go for my 24th bday & then I want to complete this phase I am going through. Its hard... But I know, I will eventually clear this out. I have Allah with me , always had, always will...

Time will heal all wounds. It has healed so many. It will heal many more.

Ya Rabb, bless me with strength of mind and pour upon me patience. Help any soul, and every soul going through every sort of hardship - Ameen